What’s Wrong With Me?

Haven’t found your soul mate?  Looking for the love of your life, your forever love?  Want to gain a better understanding on the law of attraction?  Need tips on finding your true spiritual partner or praying in “the one”?  Then this blog is for you.

I had a client a few years ago who had come to see me because all her friends were in happy committed relationships, engaged or married.  She wondered why this was not her reality and frankly questioned, “What is wrong with me?”  Her friends and family had given her tips, prayed for her, prayed over her, and at times dismissed her concerns  by spiritualizing them…”God has a plan for you…He will provide…”  I’m sure you can fill in the blank.

We took an inventory of her past dating experiences and several ideas emerged that we would spend the next 10 months challenging.  And I pose one of these to you to challenge you as well.

Committing to singleness means I’ve given up on the idea of marriage.

Quite the opposite of what she believed, it is in doing singleness well that you become fully prepared to have an amazing relationship.  So, we looked at the first single person’s life, Adam.

God created Adam in his own image (Gen 1:27a).  God created single Adam before he created married Adam.  It was in his singleness that he learned to be in relationship with God.  Therefore God gave him worth, value, identity, belonging, security and promise for a future.

Then, the Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it. (Gen 2:15).  God gave single Adam a job/ministry to further his kingdom before he gave him a partner.

I will make a helper suitable for him (Gen 2:18b).  The partner was given to help him complete his calling and enhance his identity with God. You are most prepared for marriage and most attractive in all kinds of relationships when you are about God’s business and are in relationship with Him.

Ask a couple whose marriage you aspire to have, how they met.  More times than not, when they were single they were in close relationship with God and committed to a ministry when they stumbled upon their spouse.  It was when they had a moment to be fissional together that they fell in love.

My client changed her perspective on the benefits of singleness and the risks of not doing singleness well.  She committed to knowing and experiencing God and as a result was called to show the love of Christ to children at an after school program.  A teacher from that school was also doing singleness well.  They had a beautiful beach wedding.